the Aquarium :3

fish(open shutter as they moved).

         In the past week I have gone to the New England Aquarium, once with my mother and the next time with my friend Carly. Knee deep in small children pushing through the throng of people with parents trailing behind them, I attempt to do my photography homework with taking pictures of motion and sometimes capturing some cute turtles and fish just because. Pushed and shoved by little hands, the words "I'm so sorry" from the worried parents who hurry to capture that little child who has once again run off to see the cute fish that are behind very thick glass.
      
          This is what reminds me that once apon a time I was one of those kids, leashed however(yes i was a leashed child), who ran ahead of slow parents to see that fish up close. My mom would take me to the aquarium so that I could witness the wonderful life that lives under the sea. We would go to and from different sights, then to the touch tank where I would stick my little hands under the ice cold water to pick up a small starfish or if I was feeling brave a sea urchin. I loved going to the aquarium, and even now a few dozen years later and this time I'm tall enough to see things better, I still find the aquarium amazing. (Even the very creepy anaconda that could eat me).
I will now spam you with pictures of the aquarium. :)

baby blue penguins.

sea urchin.

an 80 year old sea turtle.

jelly fish(open shutter).

starfish.

What do you live for?

For my english comp class I am reading the book Cancer Ward by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. This is a book about men who are in a cancer ward for different types of cancers with different types of backgrounds, one Pavel is a working man inside the Stalin regimen, Kostoglotov was a solider who was sent to the ward to heal, and Vadim sent himself to this ward to finish his lifes work. In this ward they must re-evaluate their life and one reads in a book "what is it that man lives for". Each has a different answer: work, education, their country, responsibilty..etc. But the book says man lives for love.

This question brings to mind in my own life "what do i live for?" It took me a while to figure out what it is that I as a human being live for. But it came down to the following: family, friends, myself and yes love.

I live to make my family proud of my accomplishments through good grades in college, proving to them that I can live on my "own" and that I can make my own important decisions. I want them to be proud of me, never ashamed to admit that "Chelsea Nee? why yes she's my daughter, niece, granddaughter...etc". I love my family and do not want to let them down.

I live to have a good time with my friends, to be there when I am needed and even when I'm not, I want to be the kind of friend that they know will drop everything just to listen to them talk about a crush, a family issue, or just for them to vent and offer advice or a hug. I want to be helpful but also be someone to go have a good time with. Which has proven to be a good thing, I am the first person most think of to go on an adventure, to go to the mall, or even to come over and hang out.

I live to make myself happy with choices in life. I stick to what I believe in even if someone else has a different opinion. I have my beliefs, that may not match someone elses but I am proud of them for they are something that I know in my heart is the right thing. I want to be able to look back on my life and never regret something that I have done but look back and say "Yes I had fun getting here".

I live for love, from friends, family, animals, and hopefully from a man who will be proud to call me his own. One day I would like to find the man out there that will love me the way that my grandfather loved my grandmother. I want to have friendship and have a lover in one wonderful person. I cannot wait to maybe start a family one day, or even just devote my life to some animals and another person. I have so much love to give I cannot wait to meet the right person who will love me equally back.

But this week I leave you all to think about "What do you live for?" Take a moment to look around you and really think about it.

Veronica A. Nee, my mother.

       For all that know my mother and myself they would know that we don't have the Gilmore Girl relationship, when we have our ups and downs, one very big down, but with some very nice ups. But for those who are not on the inside they would not know that besides all those bad moments filled with my bad attitude, yelling and our equal amounts of stubbornness, this woman is a person that I look up too and one day hope to have an ounce of her strength.
Growing up I never went without anything another child my age wanted, even if I was raised by a single parent living in her parents house. I went to museums, aquariums, camp. I did soccer, baseball, and basketball all with her with me or watching on the sidelines. However living with older people there are always medical things, and with my family it was my great grandmas heart attack the night before my baptism, my grandfather being put permanently put on oxygen, to my grandmother being diagnosed with terminal cancer, she stood strong and carried on. She helped out, did things she didn't want to do, she always worked two to three jobs to provide for me, and kept my grandmother running the house.
I watched her loose her grandmothers, father, and I am now watching her slowly loosing her mother and I wish I could have her strength and poise to continue doing the things she was doing before and keep a smile, or in her case her own special smile, on her face and trudge through it.
Most days I wish that her life was easier and that she didn't have to deal with all of these things and I wish that nothing bad happened to her.
She is my hero, the person I look up too, the person I hope to be when I go out into the world. She raised me, got a degree, kept two jobs, helped my grandmother, and still managed to keep up with her shows. I love my mother a lot.

Football Season and Photography.

On this super bowl Sunday instead of watching the big game, I finished up my photography homework and re watched Gilmore Girls. I used to make wings of fire or hot wings with my grandfather, and get the living room all ready for the big game. I used to talk stats and players and pretend to understand how the game really worked and get my seat next to him on the couch with the knowledge that I had till after halftime to watch the game. This was my special time with my grandfather. I was the first born grandchild and the oldest by 7 1/2 years and I got the priced spot on the couch, and I got to spend my days with him. My mother would sit with us and correct papers or finish up the laundry and complain, good heartily about the fact she was missing a murder show for this silly game. I look back on this special time with smiles and laughter.
My grandfather passed away 3 1/2 almost 4 years ago and I have yet to watch the super bowl. I've watched pregames at boarding school on nights I had nothing else to do, but once the super bowl came I started to watch it then left, returning only for the halftime show. It was just not the same with out my grandfather to watch with me. It felt wrong in a way to watch our show without him.
So instead of joining in on the festivities I made pasta and got into bed and fine tuned my photography homework and lightly edited my photographs thinking that maybe one year I'll get the courage to watch that one sporting event next year.
But until then I will just continue doing what i do best: Photography.